Choose Happiness

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“The trick is that as long as you know who you are and what makes you happy, it doesn’t matter how others see you.”

Wendy Mass, Every Soul a Star

According to Snapchat, yesterday was International Happiness Day, so…

Totally kidding I had no idea. It’s really a coincidence but found it only fitting to elaborate on the subject.

I’ve come to learn that you are in control of your own happiness. It’s true and it’s taken me a while to get there, but I’m so glad I did. We all have a choice on how we look at things. Is the glass half empty or half full?

It all hit me about a year ago, and like a ton of bricks! I remember it so clearly. I was sitting on the couch with my husband when all this built up emotion came rushing to the surface. Who am I? What am I doing with my life? Why am I letting other people affect my emotions and my decisions? Why do I care so much about what other people think?

When I was younger (you know the age when you know it all) I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. I was so confident. When I made a decision I didn’t question it because I was doing exactly what I wanted. It sounds selfish, but sometimes you have to be and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I went from being so care-free and someone who owned her emotions to this girl with all of these walls and let drama in. When I felt a certain way or emotion I felt it hard. Around college, I became freakishly scared of disappointing my parents (why now that I’m out of the house) and my friends. It was like I was scared of getting hurt and in the same breath was letting myself hurt so easily.  I was scared of what they might think of me. What if they get upset with me? What if they don’t like me?

It was that night on the couch when all these emotions hit me. I cried and I cried hard, and then I ran upstairs and threw some water on my face. I was freaking out. I think it was a panic attack or some sort of quarter life crisis. It really woke me up. I realized I wasn’t happy and it wasn’t anyone else’s fault but my own.

It took me a while to sort through my emotions and figure out what was going on, but once I took the time to reflect on what was giving me so much anxiety I was able to fix it. For example, our house was a mess – like I mentioned here, I had at least four pairs of my shoes scattered around downstairs. There were dishes in the sink. Our bed wasn’t made. My makeup was scattered about the bathroom counter, so on and so forth. Normal day-to-day things that added up. I realize that if our house is a mess so am I so I had to start making time to put everything in its place, because whether I like to admit it or not, it affects me.

I could go on and on, but I won’t. I’ll just post a list below of things that I choose to do that contribute to my happiness:

  • Cut out the drama – try to find where it’s coming from and either cut it out or find a way to deal with it in a way that it doesn’t affect you.
  • Appreciate the moment – Happiness is a path, not a destination (Gautama Buddha)
  • Get organized – take 30 mins a day to put everything away
  • Workout –  When I don’t workout, I don’t feel good about myself. I try to workout first thing in the morning because 1. I get it over with 2. It starts my day off right 3. The gym’s less crowded! 🙂
  • Say no – It’s your weekend, do what you want with it!
  • Focus on your goals – Are you doing something today that’s contributing to your tomorrow?

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